How I got a free dinner and felt like a jerk for it...

Thursday, June 16, 2011

*this picture of Sal has nothing to do with this story. But doesn't he look cute with those little glasses around his neck?

Tim, myself and my little sister livi were doing a bit of shopping late in the evening and decided to grab a bite to eat at a little Mediterranean place in Tempe. The place was empty with only the three of us, a server and one man sitting in the corner eating. After a minute or so the man says "Tim. Hey Tim". Tim turns around and realizes it is Fahad, a guy he has played basketball at the gym with a few times. They greet each other, Tim introduces us and we go back to our separate tables. Immediately I feel the urge to invite him over. How does it make sense for him to sit alone 3 feet away from us with no one else in the restaurant? "Should we invite him to join us? I don't want him to have to eat alone", I think to myself. I contemplate discussing it with Tim and think about how I could do that quietly without Fahad hearing our discussion.

At this time Tim is thinking the same thought, "I wonder if Bri would mind if he eats dinner with us?". In an effort to avoid stepping out of our comfort zones and a possible awkward situation we both individually put the thought aside and never bring it to discussion.

Fahad finishes his meal a bit before we do, says his goodbyes, shakes Tim's hand and walks out the door. Fifteen minutes later we are ready to leave and Tim goes to the front counter to take care of the bill. The server informs us that Fahad had so generously purchased dinner for all three of us. We were blown away by his kindness. Truly blown away. Here is this young man, whom I have just met and Tim only knows from the court, and he is kind enough to buy our dinner? I honestly was so moved by his gesture.

And I could not even invite him to sit at our table, Seriously Brianna? Come on.
I am not an entirely shy person. I am good in a professional setting or if I am introduced to someone I have no problem carrying on the conversation. When I am the approach-er, I tend to get a little shy. Throughout my meal the thought of inviting Fahad to our table never left my mind, but I kept pushing it down with my social insecurities. I learned a couple valuable lessons tonight:

One-Sometimes I need to stop and listen to myself and if I feel strongly about something I need to act on it

Two- I cannot let my self-doubt affect my life experiences

In general I consider myself a confident and outgoing person, but tonight I realized that one small insecurity can really make a difference in how you live your life. I am grateful for Fahad's kindness and the lessons that I learned from it. I hope the next time I am offered an opportunity to share a meal with someone or possibly make a friend, I will not hesitate to act on it.


amyschmamey said...

Wow. What an awesome thing for him to do... I wouldn't kick yourself too hard for not asking him to sit with you... It is good that you took away a lesson from it... but I'm pretty sure he didn't think you were a jerk for not inviting him to sit with you... or else he wouldn't have covered the bill. What a great guy though! You have a good heart too! Great story!

brianna kim said...

Amy- I guess taht is a good point! Mostly I think i just felt silly for making a big deal out of something in my head...thanks!

Kara said...

Super awesome story! Seriously though, I agree with Amy. Not worth making yourself feel awful about. Sounds like he was just a super nice guy - next time, you'll know to invite him over! ;)

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