Don't be scared. For the most part he is harmless. We met about ten years ago and after multiple attempts at trying to get him to go away, I have not succeeded. It's true, he is a man, but this is of no benefit to me. I mostly just see him as a thing but for all intents and purposes he is my "BFF".
circa-sometime when we were younger
Today is his birthday and as I prepare to mail another birthday card (late of course)I think about the last ten years and how...
-He once woke me up at 6am by throwing hot pockets at me.
-While in a McDonald's drive through, he pulled me out of the car, locked me out and left me there..for awhile.
-I was forced to sit in the back seat of the car so his recently found childhood teddy bear could sit in the front.
-He drove to my house with my cousin, called me outside, only to pour a gallon of water on me and drive off.
-He showed up at my house in pajamas needing to borrow clothes (what??)and then never returned them.
-One day at lunch I left my tacos to grab some hot sauce and when I returned he ate all the meat and left me just tortilla.
-The first time he visited me in Arizona he shaved off all his body hair in my bathtub to "keep cool".
-His nickname for me is Melissa Ethridge (?????)
-(my least favorite) He tells people in secret that I had a hair lip removed.
and I wonder... why the hell are we friends?
Then I think back real hard and remember, at some point during each of these perturbing episodes, although maybe not initially...
I can remember laughing.
Happy Birthday Jer. Please don't call me drunk tonight.
7 comments:
Awww so sweet Bri. Happy birthday Jerame! What funny stories you have of him :)
Your friend sounds hilarious! Also, that rug he's laying on in the first picture HAS to be the most popular rug in the world - basically every blogger I know has it. We have two. No shame in my game.
Hahaha this made me lol so hard! Sounds like the best kind of bff :) My bestie Robert has annoyed me beyond belief so I feel your pain!
you are a terrible human being miss etheridge. i love you dearly though.
hey you don't remember all the times i saved your life literally! or the amazing adventures i have forced you through!?
although this article made me tear up- next year i will be dead. i am blaming you in my suicide note.
love.
jer.
Did he borrow your clothes??
Haha this post is hilarious! just stumbled upon your blog, awesomeness!x caroline x
Marilyn- well ya know, it's jerame!
Kira- your totally right! I see it around all the time but we have since discarded it after an unfortunate puppy accident :/
Kara-Can't live with em, can't live without em right?
Jer-....
Em- Yes, he did indeed borrow my clothes
Caroline-Thanks for stopping by! Do you have a blog I can check out? (could not tell from your profile)
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