I can't believe you made it to 26...

Thursday, August 4, 2011

This is Jerame.
Don't be scared. For the most part he is harmless. We met about ten years ago and after multiple attempts at trying to get him to go away, I have not succeeded. It's true, he is a man, but this is of no benefit to me. I mostly just see him as a thing but for all intents and purposes he is my "BFF".
circa-sometime when we were younger

Today is his birthday and as I prepare to mail another birthday card (late of course)I think about the last ten years and how...

-He once woke me up at 6am by throwing hot pockets at me.

-While in a McDonald's drive through, he pulled me out of the car, locked me out and left me there..for awhile.

-I was forced to sit in the back seat of the car so his recently found childhood teddy bear could sit in the front.

-He drove to my house with my cousin, called me outside, only to pour a gallon of water on me and drive off.

-He showed up at my house in pajamas needing to borrow clothes (what??)and then never returned them.

-One day at lunch I left my tacos to grab some hot sauce and when I returned he ate all the meat and left me just tortilla.

-The first time he visited me in Arizona he shaved off all his body hair in my bathtub to "keep cool".

-His nickname for me is Melissa Ethridge (?????)

-(my least favorite) He tells people in secret that I had a hair lip removed

and I wonder... why the hell are we friends?
Then I think back real hard and remember, at some point during each of these perturbing episodes, although maybe not initially...
I can remember laughing.
Happy Birthday Jer. Please don't call me drunk tonight.


Marilyn said...

Awww so sweet Bri. Happy birthday Jerame! What funny stories you have of him :)

Kira said...

Your friend sounds hilarious! Also, that rug he's laying on in the first picture HAS to be the most popular rug in the world - basically every blogger I know has it. We have two. No shame in my game.

Kara said...

Hahaha this made me lol so hard! Sounds like the best kind of bff :) My bestie Robert has annoyed me beyond belief so I feel your pain!

Anonymous said...

you are a terrible human being miss etheridge. i love you dearly though.
hey you don't remember all the times i saved your life literally! or the amazing adventures i have forced you through!?

although this article made me tear up- next year i will be dead. i am blaming you in my suicide note.


D|i|Y EM|i| said...

Did he borrow your clothes??

caroline alice said...

Haha this post is hilarious! just stumbled upon your blog, awesomeness!x caroline x

bri kim said...

Marilyn- well ya know, it's jerame!
Kira- your totally right! I see it around all the time but we have since discarded it after an unfortunate puppy accident :/
Kara-Can't live with em, can't live without em right?
Em- Yes, he did indeed borrow my clothes
Caroline-Thanks for stopping by! Do you have a blog I can check out? (could not tell from your profile)

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