I can't believe you made it to 26...

Thursday, August 4, 2011

This is Jerame.
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Don't be scared. For the most part he is harmless. We met about ten years ago and after multiple attempts at trying to get him to go away, I have not succeeded. It's true, he is a man, but this is of no benefit to me. I mostly just see him as a thing but for all intents and purposes he is my "BFF".
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circa-sometime when we were younger

Today is his birthday and as I prepare to mail another birthday card (late of course)I think about the last ten years and how...

-He once woke me up at 6am by throwing hot pockets at me.

-While in a McDonald's drive through, he pulled me out of the car, locked me out and left me there..for awhile.

-I was forced to sit in the back seat of the car so his recently found childhood teddy bear could sit in the front.

-He drove to my house with my cousin, called me outside, only to pour a gallon of water on me and drive off.

-He showed up at my house in pajamas needing to borrow clothes (what??)and then never returned them.

-One day at lunch I left my tacos to grab some hot sauce and when I returned he ate all the meat and left me just tortilla.

-The first time he visited me in Arizona he shaved off all his body hair in my bathtub to "keep cool".


-His nickname for me is Melissa Ethridge (?????)

-(my least favorite) He tells people in secret that I had a hair lip removed
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and I wonder... why the hell are we friends?
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Then I think back real hard and remember, at some point during each of these perturbing episodes, although maybe not initially...
I can remember laughing.
Happy Birthday Jer. Please don't call me drunk tonight.

7 comments:

Marilyn said...

Awww so sweet Bri. Happy birthday Jerame! What funny stories you have of him :)

Kira said...

Your friend sounds hilarious! Also, that rug he's laying on in the first picture HAS to be the most popular rug in the world - basically every blogger I know has it. We have two. No shame in my game.

Kara said...

Hahaha this made me lol so hard! Sounds like the best kind of bff :) My bestie Robert has annoyed me beyond belief so I feel your pain!

Anonymous said...

you are a terrible human being miss etheridge. i love you dearly though.
hey you don't remember all the times i saved your life literally! or the amazing adventures i have forced you through!?

although this article made me tear up- next year i will be dead. i am blaming you in my suicide note.

love.
jer.

D|i|Y EM|i| said...

Did he borrow your clothes??

caroline alice said...

Haha this post is hilarious! just stumbled upon your blog, awesomeness!x caroline x

bri kim said...

Marilyn- well ya know, it's jerame!
Kira- your totally right! I see it around all the time but we have since discarded it after an unfortunate puppy accident :/
Kara-Can't live with em, can't live without em right?
Jer-....
Em- Yes, he did indeed borrow my clothes
Caroline-Thanks for stopping by! Do you have a blog I can check out? (could not tell from your profile)

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