and it is on....

Day 2 of the "Burn and Cleanse". I wonder how much burning I am really doing because I definitely know how much cleansing is going on right now.

So far this task has been a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. I know that it is only day 2 and that is why I am trying not to focus on it too much.

One positive is that I have no cravings. I am not aching for something sweet or even for something that tastes good.

I replaced the dreadful eggs with a protein shake in the morning and that really helped me to start the day off in a better way.

This Cleanse is high in protein, therefore you must eat a lot of meat. Meat eater I am not. You are not allowed Red Meat or Pork. (not that it would make a difference... steak? yuck!)
Pretty much chicken, fish and canned tuna.
The thing is, I am weird with meat. I think if I liked veggies and pasta more I could probably be a vegetarian.
I much prefer not really recognizing that I am eating meat. I like chicken cut in small pieces and mixed in a soup or casserole. Maybe with cheese on top or in a bowl filled with rice and teriyaki sauce. A nice grilled chicken breast, just not so appealing to me.
I am definitely a mental eater and this is just another one of my weird eating habits. But because of this it makes it very hard for me to really focus on consuming a meat based meal three times a day.

I am used to having a granola bar around nine a lunch of maybe yogurt, granola and a fruit around one and then dinner between five or seven. Even though my caloric intake is way low right now and I am pretty hungry all day, it is hard for me to adjust to actually sitting down to eat four meals. Yesterday I was just not able to eat it and ended up somewhere under 700 calories. After working out twice I felt pretty dead. Today I really tried to eat as much as I could. Even finishing every bite I am still taking in less than 950 calories but I know that I really need that extra protein.

I have been working out a half hour during lunch with a co-worker on the treadmill which suffices one of my work outs for the day. Last night I took the poods on a nice long walk and it drizzled the whole time. He was loving it. I actually really enjoyed it as well. The air was cool and crisp from the rain and it felt really nice.
I have been enjoying the work out portion of this thing. I am sore already but it feels good to push myself.

As I continue on the next couple of weeks I am also committing myself to a spiritual cleanse if you will. I feel it very important that as I am challenging myself and trying to shape up my physical self that I rely on the Lord through it and more importantly commit to shaping up my spiritual self. It really could use a better shape at this point and who better to give me the strength.

Off to school to buy books (ouch!) Classes start tomorrow.

scrambled eggs make me sick.

Today I start my 14-day "Burn and Cleanse".

Basically I have to stick to a strict diet of chicken, fish, eggs and veggies. No dairy, sugar and of course fat allowed.

I am pretty pumped about it actually. It is my first step in accomplishing that "Get fit and healthy" goal I set for myself.



I woke up this morning feeling good and ready to accomplish this challenge...and then I smelled that awful smell.

This weekend as I outlined my meal plan for the next two weeks I tried to ignore one major factor , which I knew would be my only real struggle through this diet. The diet calls to eat 6 egg whites each morning.

I love them when they are devilish or sunny side up with toast... but scrambled eggs I simply cannot do.



-backstory: As a child I loved scrambled eggs. I raised no issue if my mother filled my plate with fluffy scrambles. At this young, naive age, I had no intentions of ridding my life of this poultry delight. As I approached 8 we decided to live with my grandmother on my father's side. She was a good cook and nothing short of an amazing baker. Your typical loving, smother you in hugs and kisses kind of grandma she was not.Although those attributes lay deep down in her soul she often found less obvious ways to show her love for us, such as making breakfast each Saturday morning. Pancakes made in the shape of mickey mouses head, hearts and even sometimes lizards. Plates full of bacon and sausage and made from scratch hash browns. And of course, scrambled eggs. Runny, somewhat gooey scrambled eggs. These eggs!? I had never had scrambled eggs prepared quite this way. Immediately I assumed these could not be good for you. The runny-ness displayed could only mean they were not fully cooked and if consumed would cause you to grow a small chick in your stomach. Being the finicky child that I was, without hesitation I rejected the offer. My grandmother,a firm believer in the "you must try everything once" rule, in her delightful 30plus year smokers voice, insisted I partake. I proceeded with fear. I wish I could say they tasted better than I thought they would but they tasted exactly as I thought they would. The combination of the taste and the smell made me nauseous. With my dear ol' granny sitting next to me I knew what went in must stay in. I suffered through. Never again could I look at scrambled eggs the same way. Regardless of the preparation, they had been ruined.
Thanks Grandma.


TK kindly woke up early this morning to prepare my eggs. I tried to ignore that familiar yet offensive smell. He packaged them up for me and sent me off to work.
I tried. I really tried. I got about half way through and simply could not take it anymore. Even thinking about it seriously gives me an uneasy tingle in my stomach. I have to be real with myself. I will not be able to accomplish eating scrambled eggs for 14 days. It just cannot happen. I feel a bit deflated because I really wanted to try and follow this cleanse exactly as it had been laid out but I will have to use the offered alternative and supplement with a protein drink of some sort.

Oh well. I am confident, with this slight menu change, I will successfully complete the cleanse.

P.S. Sunday TK woke me up to show me that there was a puppy party happening in our backyard. Two little pups had snuck their way into our backyward through our broken fence and had a playdate with Sal. Sal was thrilled. He ran and jumped like crazy and was visibly sad when it came time to go. This further influences TK's desire to get another dog. I just don't know about that.

what was that sound?

something weird is going on in my stomach. do you think maybe it is from the carl's jr chicken sandwich I ate while on the way home from california in the middle of nowhere?
well whatever it is, it is not right. I was up all night so I skipped work today.

I had plans for today gosh darnit stomach!!

hopefully tomorrow will be better.

and so it begins...

We drove back to California this weekend to pick up my brother who needed to attend a couple doctor's appointments here in AZ. So that means in the last four weeks I have traveled to California three times.

I am pooped... to say the least. (although, getting the opportunity to visit with my darling niece once again made it worth it!)

Now it is time to get on with this new year and get started into a good routine.

In correspondence with my goals mentioned in the previous post I think I will try and focus on "sub-goals" so to say, each week.

This week it shall be:

1. Clean my house thoroughly-this last month has been a whirlwind ending the year with a big party and ten house guest for four days. We have not re-cooperated and we have continued to drag our house down with us. Everyday I find a new source of inspiration that makes me want to jump back into decorating our house and accomplish previously mentioned goal# 11. But first things first. THIS HOUSE MUST BE CLEANED!

2. Organize my closet-typically I am pretty anal about my closet. I like to have all my clothes grouped into categories and what not but when we moved in I just threw everything into my closet and left it there which ever way it landed.(Don't be silly, of course I did not literally throw everything I did put the items on hangers, well most of them)

3. Create a "workspace" of sorts for my crafts and projects-A few of my goals for the year had to do with my being creative. I truly do love making things with my hands and it has always been something I put on the back burner. As a child my grandma taught me how to crotchet, sew and embroider. Pastimes I have always adored. But as I got older I put those things aside and, well, basically I suck at it now. My grandmother is a lovely, beautiful lively lady at the wise age of 72. I see no signs of her going anywhere anytime soon but one day I had this thought "What if grandma passes before I am able to learn these skills well enough to pass them onto my children?" This thought made me quite sad. I cherish the time I spent with my grandma and all the things she taught me and continues to teach me. I realized that no sort of inheritance she could leave me would be as valuable as the skills she has taught me. Hence the reason for my goal; of course the time I will need to spend with my grandma is the added bonus!

...and to the point... I believe that if I designate an area in my home for crafting I will be more dedicated to sitting down and accomplishing this. One of the reasons I often skip on making something is I just don't feel like pulling out all the materials and having to put everything back... I know I am lazy, I never denied it. Sooooo, if my materials can stay open and available to me,I should have no excuse right?

So we shall see how this week goes. I feel confident that I can accomplish what I have set forth for myself.

*next week I will be starting a 14 day cleanse to jump start my work on goal # 1, so tonight.... I am making brownies. HA!

I leave you with a picture of Sal... does it get any better?

23 goals for my 23rd year...

one. get fit and healthy
two. grow spiritually
three. be a better wife
four. sharpen my sewing/crotcheting/embroidering skils
five. be more creative
six. follow throuhg with my idea
seven. pursue my goals more actively
eight. learn how to finally use photoshop (tk purchased it for my bday a couple years ago)
nine. take more pictures
ten. write more
eleven. make our house our home
twelve. complete atleast one project a month
thirteen. learn how to cook...decently
fourteen. make more hand made gifts
fifteen. use my typewriter often
sixteen. blog atleast once a week (instead of just thinking about what i want to blog)
seventeen. wear heels more often (try to breathe through the pain)
eighteen. more promplty clean my house and keep my closet organized
nineteen. visit my grandma more (i love my grandma)
twenty. dress nicer to work (they say you will feel better)
twentyone. make an effort to wake up on time during the week and wake up at a decent hour on the weekends
twentytwo. be more adventurous in food choices (of course that still means no onions)
twentythree. send more letters

---i feel like i will add more later ( i have always been too old for my age)

and they called her...

We had been awaiting this little bundle of joy for quite sometime. With hopes of an early delivery crushed by the late discovery of an inaccurate due date, it felt like that baby was going to be more than well done!
She arrived on Monday December 28th, 2009 at 3:54 weighing in at 8 pounds 2ounces and 21 inches, with a foot size to match that height.
Thankfully the birth was hassle free and mommy and baby were happy and healthy.
Her name...after all the crazy things my brother had thought of...
Liela Renee.

It is hard to believe that my brother is now a father. My oversized, funny, extremely tickilish (primarly immature) older brother now has a daughter. There was no mistaking the immediate change that resulted in him the minute that little girl came into this world. When he walked into the waiting room and looked at me and said "she is here", I had never seen his green eyes shine so bright.

And now myself, an Aunt.

It is funny how you can feel such a connection to someone you just met. It makes me wonder how much more memorable the experience will be when I have a child of my own.

Babies are often referred to as Precious and after holding my niece for the first time I truly understand that. I have been around babies my whole life being the 2nd of five children, the youngest born 11 years after me but this time holding that newborn baby, I understood it differently.

It felt so special holding this baby knowing that she is so pure and so innocent and so good. that you have no reason to be mad at her or annoyed. that she can do no wrong at this delicate stage in her life. that God made her special and meshed together an adorable mix of her mom and dads features that are now all her own. Truly precious in everyway.

I am so grateful I was able to be apart of this experience and I am so excited to be apart of her future.

my niece is way cuter than yours...

Liela Renee
-more on this little girl later